Lots of changes over the past few months! I didn’t mean to leave you all hanging, but I promise this post will make it up to you. Here are a few things that have happened since my last post:

1. I decided to take a little hiatus from seminary and go back to full-time work. I’m just not in a financial position where I can justify more loans for a degree that doesn’t warrant a career. So once I can get back on my feet, I’ll start taking some classes again. Now I’m living with my folks, working for my dad as a project manager (etc) and in lieu of homework, I’ve taken up wedding planning, because…

2. I’m getting married! WHAT?! Yep… I found the perfect man for me. Just like I said I wanted too earlier in this blog. God is awesome. James is amazing. And you can finally read our story! Here’s the links:

I meet James |  James meets me | We get engaged

3. An earthquake turned our eyes to Haiti, and I need to give a shout-out to the very man who coined me “theologically blonde” and thus inspired this blog. One of my pastors from the church I worked at in Boston went to Haiti last year for a mission trip to an orphanage there, and his heart was visibly changed. He and his wife started the paperwork to adopt an 8-year-old Haitian girl. When the earthquake hit, they fought to bring her to the states as soon as possible, and she’s finally here! I’d highly recommend watching the news story because it’s just so awesome. I’m proud of Andy & Beth and couldn’t be more thrilled for them!

…

So, basically, the premise for my blog is shot. I’m gonna have to scratch my tagline “single seminarian”. You might be asking the question, do all these changes defeat the purpose of me coming here? Was it worth it to move to Chicago and even start school? Am I even going to get a degree in the end?

Let me just start by saying… SO WORTH IT. My semester at seminary wasn’t for naught. I learned more than I thought I would in just a few months, my faith in God was enhanced in new ways, and I realized– most importantly– that this is just the beginning of my learning, and I hope never to cease, whether I’m in school or not.

I found an amazing church that I totally love, connect with, and can serve at. I am close to my family, and have enjoyed being a part of all the activity. Every time I hold or kiss my baby niece I am so glad I’m not 1000 miles away.

And best of all, I met the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with. God had him here. So the fact that I was brought here was certainly for a purpose. For many purposes. I couldn’t be happier. I am home.

Well I figured it’s time for a general update, seeing as my first semester of seminary is drawing… no, more like reeling, hurling, speeding… to a close (eek!).

Yeah, deep breath. Jumping in to full-time school after 5 years of 9-5ing it is not a task for the faint of heart. When I was in college papers were more like 5 pages (not 10-20) and if you missed class you could somehow BS your way to an “A”. Grad school= different ballgame.

And then there is all this business of pre-assumed knowledge. Like, say… that you were born knowing what “the canon” is, or what “soteriology” means, etc. Being a blonde at seminary is a whole new ballpark and a whole new league. This is where I’d like to announce:

BLONDE MOMENT HIGHLIGHTS OF THE SEMESTER (so far):

1. See previous post on Acts 29 and the existence (or not) thereof

2. Thomas A Kempis, NOT Thomas Aquinas. Yes, they are two different people and try doing an Amazon search for the latter and you tell me how daunting it would be to try to find the title of a book he actually didn’t write…

3. I was reading about David Hume and while doing so came across the word “posthumously”. Thinking there must obviously be some correlation between “Hume” and “humously”  I made an innocent inquiry as to that possibility… and… yeah. For those of you who’ve picked up on this, ha ha yourself, and for those who haven’t, take a gander at the correct definition and pronunciation

So there you have it. I am here purely to learn. And learning I am (clearly, it can only go up from here). Not just vocab, but so much more. When people ask me “so, tell me what you’re learning” it’s like asking a library “so tell me what your books are about?” UM… let’s just say that after 2 hours in DA Carson’s class my brain feels like a balloon that’s been blown up to the point that you think it might pop, and I’m afraid if I sneeze all the knowledge I’ve just inhaled will come sputtering out as if you let that balloon go… but I LOVE IT. and I’d love to tell you EVERYTHING. But it feels like… EVERYTHING. Because then I go to Greek class and have to know like 100 different forms of 100 different words and then later I’m quizzed on what happened in 2 Samuel 7 the significance of 1 Corinthians 15 and how Hosea 11:1 is fulfilled in Matthew 2 and then I’m wondering what the heck reformed epistemology has to do with sharing the Gospel and how to answer the problem of evil… and… sorry I was like a tea kettle letting off steam there, but you get the point.

And somehow in the next 3 weeks i have to remember all of that EVERYTHING and prove it over the course of four final exams and two papers… so… a deep breath, indeed.

While all of this information is swarming around in my blonde head there have been other things: I’ve gone from sporting flip-flops to zipping up boots, roommates have changed, and now degrees are changing.

Yep, you heard (read?) right. I have “officially” decided to change degrees from the MDiv to an MA in Christian Studies. Reason? Well, I never really had a particular calling, just an overwhelming desire to learn and an invitation from Big G to do so, and after reviewing things from financial, practical and academic standpoints, it’s pretty obvious that an MA will be sufficient to accomplish what I set out to do in half the time for half the money and half the angst. A Masters degree is just the right fit for what I want and what I need. The MDiv is a TOUGH degree, and I have the utmost respect for those who respond in obedience to a call to complete it. But I don’t have the academic endurance or the financial means to pursue something I don’t feel called to, and it took coming here and giving it a try to figure that out. Coming to seminary was one of the best decisions, if not the best decision I’ve ever made, and I’m so thrilled to be here and to embrace whatever the experience entails.

I guess it also it helps that I’ve fallen in love with a church AND an amazing man (I know, I know… juicy details are on the way! But I’ve got to have a ploy to keep you all coming back for more)… and you know, I’ve also grown to love Chicago as well. Sans the traffic, she ain’t a bad city. I was so vehemently opposed to ever moving back here due to the unsightly, sprawling flatness of strip malls, home depots and subdivisions… but I’ve been surprised at my change of heart. As I become reacquainted with the place I knew so well in childhood, I am seeing it through the eyes of pleasant memory and now, hopeful future. To be so close to my family has been a blessing far greater than I guessed, and to have found a church (and a man) here makes it truly home.

Life is good, and I promise to never verify that with a bumper sticker. But in all seriousness, God has blessed me in abundance, without warrant or merit, but out of pure grace and love. And I couldn’t be more thankful!

Yesterday I had the privilege of having my way paid to attend the Story conference here in Chicago. So while my brain is still processing the whole concept of “story” in my life, I want to tell you my story about God’s provision.

Our main character is a girl who wants to go to seminary. And let me tell you, she must indeed overcome conflict to get it.

(I’ll switch to first person now, so this doesn’t get weird)

After I made the decision to go to seminary, I hit lots of bumps in the road (so to speak). My car got stolen not once, but twice. Around that same time, my laptop died. I bought the only car I could afford (which all too quickly turned into the car I can’t afford due to the amount of repairs I’ve had to make). Then I had to pry myself from the death-grip Boston had on my heart and move halfway across the country to Chicago. (In case you weren’t aware, moving vans= not cheap). So I’m at home in the midwest with no friends and no job and… another set of car repairs.

A few days before school I was in tears, not knowing how I was going to be able to afford life, and questioning whether or not this whole seminary thing was the right move. My doubt level was high, my trust in God low. Luckily, my mom was there to calm me down. She encouraged me, prayed with me and helped me make a budget. She told me to make a list of the things I needed and see how God would provide. I scoffed through my final round of tears (budgeting when you have no money to budget with is not at all comforting), but I didn’t hesitate to acknowledge my needs.

My list went something like this:

1. laptop
2. software

Days later I asked my brother (an Apple employee) to help me fix up an old [crummy] computer I have. He graciously conceded but then asked me why he would fix my computer if I had a new computer? Confused, I followed the finger pointing to his personal laptop which was now sitting on my bed. What?! Dude, my brother GAVE ME HIS COMPUTER. This time, my tears were of joy. But to top it off, the next thing out of his mouth was “Oh, and the software you wanted is on the way, on me”. Now I was speechless… except for mumbling thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou over and over again like a grateful idiot.

Then my dad was able to hire me to do part time office work, and a few days into school I had met with the graphic design department and secured several paying projects right on campus. So, over the past few months, life has been good. Classes– for the most part– have been engaging and I’ve already learned so much. My homework consists of either reading the bible or reading about it. I’ve already met a wonderful man (hold your horses, I’ll get to that in a later post). Sometimes I actually pinch myself to see if I’m not in some crazy amazing dream.

But the cycle of provision comes in waves. The laptop that my brother so generously bestowed upon has terminal cancer and was dead for over a week, so I did not have a computer to use. Which meant I could not do work, which means I could not make money. That was the second death of a computer. Now my car in is for the second (oops, now third) set of repairs. And I think… if only my car that never needed repairs hadn’t been stolen… twice.

When I hit these hurdles, I feel discouragement descend and my first thought is that this is all a big mistake, that I am not supposed to be in seminary. I was nuts to quit my full-time job with benefits to spend money I don’t have on a luxury like a seminary education. I have no money, no time to balance schoolwork and job that will pay the bills.

And then I wonder why things seem to hit not once but twice. Like when you’re playing the waves at the beach, and all of a sudden that one big wave knocks you over, and just as soon as you get up for air, a second one hits, and you feel like if you have to taste salt water one more time you’ll give up… But I chose to put a positive spin on this idea. Maybe things happen twice because the first time, God says “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you”. And He does, and I believe that He will provide. And then it’s like the second time He says , “No, Sarah, I WILL take care of you”. And I have to surrender all doubt and embrace His continuous and abounding provision and blessing in my life. Maybe once isn’t enough, that God wants to drive the point home.

Last week I was reading Luke 12 where Jesus is teaching about being watchful, for you do not know when the master, the Son of God, will return. I like to notice the context that bible stories are in, given that chapters & headings weren’t in the original Greek. The passage immediately proceeding this is the famous “do not worry” passage, which ends with Jesus telling us to store our treasure in heaven. Let me round up my train of thought and put it to you plainly what Jesus is saying here:

1. Do not worry, God will provide

2. Actually, He wants to give us His Kingdom

3. So don’t collect possessions on earth where they can be STOLEN, etc., build up your treasure in heaven because

4. Jesus is coming back soon! (and we get to party in the Kingdom!)

Basically… the answer this gives to my problems of no money and loss of possessions is a big SO WHAT?!

Yeah, so what? What do cars and computers and dollars matter? Oh right, THEY DON’T. Because if it won’t be important in eternity, it shouldn’t be important now.

There are a lot of chapters in my story, because I will continue to have conflict, to have needs, and God will continue to provide. And the end of my story isn’t here on earth, it isn’t getting everything I want, it’s being taken care of by the Master, who will someday come back and I better have stocked up some of that treasure in heaven.

Now I have a computer, thanks to my dad who bought a new laptop so I could have his. I am so blessed to have people around me who have helped me in way that might seem small, but have meant something great. While I’m not sure what to do about my lemon of a car, I have faith that God will take care of me, again. And again.

And you know what, despite all odds, I never have I been more sure that I am in the right place and that Big G is down with me being here. He has been faithful… beyond all measure. And there is no way I deserve any of it, but you better believe I am going to make the most of my seminary experience.

I’m starting to fall in love.

Sorry for those of you who just got excited for some juicy romantic gossip, I’m about to disappoint you by telling you it’s with a church. In a previous post I mentioned the elusive Acts 29 church plant*. Well, it does, in fact, exist. And it’s awesome.

For the first few weeks here at school I sat in pews of new churches and felt empty, lost. When you leave an amazing church, and you’re trying to find a new one that compares, it’s like thinking back on a past lover: you forget all the bad things and feel overwhelmingly nostalgic about the good. And going on first dates with new churches can be like bad first dates in real life. You’re 5 minutes in and you know you aren’t meant to be together, but you have to stick it out.

I went to Redemption Bible sort of by accident. Every Sunday I had in my mind that I was going to visit some other church, but circumstances led me to tag along with some guys to this “new Acts 29 church plant”, whatever that was.

Honestly, I didn’t think I’d like it let alone ever go back. But as I sat in the dim light of the an old theater, I heard the GOSPEL preached, and all I could think about was how I’d love to invite my non-christian friends to this church… and I knew this whacky rockbandplayinghymnsandpastorwearingjeansandchucks church was the one.

At first I thought it was good because it wasn’t about ME or my agenda. I threw out the nitpicky checklist of things that make a good church. It was what it was. And I would love to go out and invite people who needed Jesus to come and check it out.

Then after spending time eating with and fellowshipping (is that even a word?) with the people there, and being stalked by those same people on twitter, facebook and email, and having coffee with the pastor, and being invited to community group… I realized that yes, it was about me. It was about something I can be a part of: a body. We are all one body and to be able not just to meet on Sunday mornings and worship together, but to “break bread” together, share a meal, incessantly @reply on twitter, etc… that is what counts. I can be loved on and love back. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

It was that sense of community and love for one another that made me fall in love with this particular church, and reignited my romance with THE Church. Yes, I love the Church, because Paul tells us the Christ loved the Church as His bride, and “gave Himself up for her”. THIS IS HUGE. I don’t even know the depth of this analogy, given I am outside of a marriage relationship, but I know to feel this love for something so dear to Christ Himself is to bring glory to the Son of God.

And just like I won’t find the perfect man, I won’t find the perfect church… but I will find the perfect church (and hopefully someday the perfect man) for me.

And if you find the perfect church, please let me know so I can stay far, far away.

*

*I feel dropping the Acts 29 bomb fact warrants a love or hate response. For those of you who just went “ugh” or cringed in the slightest– Well, I beg your pardon. When you tell me about your Baptist church, or Assemblies of God or what not… how would you feel if I were even to feign a shudder? Who are you to judge another church? God doesn’t say the Anglican or Evangelical Free church is His Bride, he calls the CHURCH, the whole Church and all that that means, encompasses or embodies… that is His bride. Love it.

Ok, this list will probably evolve and hopefully become enriched [and more humorous] over time, but here’s a first draft:

You know you’re in seminary when…

… your textbooks are bigger than the Bible itself

… you’ve met both women in the MDiv program

… your English letters start to look like Greek letters

… there’s such a thing as the “new, hot translation” of the Bible

… the best inside jokes revolve around Hezekiah

… any social gathering includes a “time of worship”

… you find Greek flashcards in your purse

… you’re the one that’s asked to pray at meals

… theological, ontological, hermeneutical and exegetical all become staples in your vocab (even if you’re not sure what they mean)

… you suddenly feel the urge to get a tattoo in Greek or Hebrew, probably on your wrist

… Jesus is listed as an official attendee to your BBQ

Do you have any to add to the list?

Though I was warned, I am still in awe of the phenomenon that is the male population on this campus. In most classes, I can count on one hand the number of women. I am the only girl in my formation group. Today I attended a lecture in which there was one other girl. Some women might find this whole business intimidating, frustrating… who knows. All I know is, it’s fine by me. Bring it on! And no, I am not here for my MRS. I’m just not bothered with the fact that I am a minority.

The only real trouble is in the art of making friends. How do you befriend a guy without him thinking you’re interested? I would kill to be able to give out my phone number without scaring the boys off. How do you approach the subject of exchanging contact info purely for the practical purpose of communicating? What if I want to just hang out… but not “like that”? Tricky business. I thought theology or exegesis would be the brain-buster here, not the male psyche!

Well, lucky for me it is now on more than one occasion I have been called “one of the dudes” by a select group of guys. They’re all a lot younger, which is why is works (I’m pretty sure I’m too old for there to be any romantic interest). The other night I was privileged (?) to be part of a discussion ranging from the girls they think are cute and their views on dating, to how obsessed they are with Mark Driscoll, which eventually leads to the idea of attending an Acts 29 church plant on Sunday. And here is where we arrive at my

BLONDE MOMENT OF THE WEEK

Boy: “It’s an Acts 29 church”
Me: “Is there something in Acts 29 specifically about the church?”
Boy: “Um… there is no Acts 29″…

WEEEEELLLLLL…. yet another confirmation that I am indeed supposed to be in seminary. Thank the good Lord in heaven that was NOT an episode which occurred in class, among the throngs of supersmartpotentiallysnobby budding male theologians! YIKES. I am so grateful for my new– much smarter– friends. God bless ya, boys…

IRONY ALERT: So on Sunday we made an attempt to visit said Acts 29 church, only to discover IT DOESN’T EXIST EITHER. Killer…

THE DAY had finally come. But the weight of the moment, the actual occurrence never fell as heavy as you would think. I had been so preoccupied for so long, it was almost as if I was merely going through the motions, getting ready for something that wasn’t quite real. I briefly thought about it as I scrambled to get everything in order the final night before I moved to campus. Wow, tomorrow is IT. But I didn’t feel anything.

I drove myself to orientation in the morning, feeling somewhat guilty for lack of ceremony, and it wasn’t until I was pulling off the exit for Trinity that I realized what was about to happen. I’m going to seminary. And the immediate emotion that followed surprised me: I feel so alone. Weird. I shook it off, and as I got out of my car, I kicked my self-confidence into turbo and boldly approached. And as I began to meet people and become acclimated, proper amounts of excitement took possession.

As I was sitting in chapel on the high of a great worship set and after meeting a great deal of seemingly cool people… I suddenly had the best feeling ever: I am in the right place. If “peace” comes in the form of lots of goose bumps, I was hit up with a truckload of PEACE. And I knew it was God. And that moment I think was better than anything I could anticipate.

Some important details: (btw, I never want to recite where I am from, what program I am in or where I am living ever again. And no, I don’t know what I’m doing with my degree, sheesh! I just got here! And the scariest thing is I have met way too many 4th year MDiv students… so, needless to say, I’ve got time)

1. My apartment, I’ve gotta say, is a pretty sweet setup for campus living (save for the prohibition laws) and definitely a step up from some of the places I’ve lived. Porch with view of grassy areas, low flying planes and sunsets included.
2. I get along well with my two roommates who, thank God, aren’t completely nuts but have both just graduated from college, so I definitely feel like the old, seasoned one in the bunch (they probably think I’M nuts… and, rightfully so…)
3. My school is predominantly male. And I don’t understand why so many elude to this as being a bad thing. I think it quite fantastic.

RE: #3 There was one interesting moment this weekend. I was hanging out with a group of guys I’ve made friends with (all younger, but def fun). We were talking about “having an adventure” at which point on of them pipes up “Sarah, you can come with us, you’re like one of the dudes”.

w o n d e r f u l.

(I embraced it as an inclusion and proceeded to tag along on what turned out to be a less than exciting adventure).

All in all, it was a good weekend. I am in a whole new world, one that is wildly different from where I was in life (but not so different from being in college in some ways). But I am psyched– totally psyched– to be here. I have no idea what the next 3 (quite possibly 4) years have in store, but I am pretty sure there’s a darn good reason why I’ll be spending them here.

So, this summer I tried to learn Greek. (Stop laughing).  I brought my Greek textbook to the beach and flipped though flashcards in the doctor’s office. I sacrificed many an evening in an attempt to pass the proficiency exam and jump right into Greek exegesis. Well… given that it was summer and I had to move and say goodbye to friends, I got as far as I could. Which was nouns. Yeah… when I hit verbs, I quit. BUT I had determination! I studied what I knew really hard, and with much trepidation, set out to take the Greek proficiency exam at Trinity. At 8 am (that’s 45 minutes from my parents house). I waltzed in, thinking at least I could ace the vocab and the parts with the nouns.

As we stood waiting to enter the testing room, I began talking to the woman I was standing next to. She was elderly and quite entertaining. After awhile I began to look around… there were a lot of guys… and by a lot I mean no.other.girls. I whispered my discovery to my fellow female friend “I think we’re the only two women here!” and she chuckled, “Get used to it, honey!”

Enter female number 3: the proctor. She gives instructions, commences the test and pops open her laptop. Midway through the exam, the chorus of “girls just wanna have fun” begins blaring from said laptop, which she couldn’t figure out how to silence for the life of her. The irony of the whole situation just killed me.

SO… the test is like the the male/female ratio, and men=verbs. There was no section for just nouns or vocab or anything I actually knew. Oh no. ALL VERBS. So, I answered the few questions I could and since that was about one third of them, I was the first person done. Lovely. All these males would think that the one girl in the crowd was smart. Or, even worse, they would be on to me and figure out that I was, in fact, NOT. I bravely brought up my test and brushed the dust of the matter off my feet as I left.

Let’s just say… I’m in Beginning Greek this semester…

If you want to get an idea of my story, you can read any of the links below (some connect to each other).

About Me

The official life-change annoucement

My desire to go to seminary