I meet James  |  James meets me |  we get engaged

I meet James

I was a 27 year old single girl headed to seminary. Jokes about dating and men and actually finding “the one” were almost overused. I had sworn off dating. But by some divine orchestration, God brought James and I together, and this is how it happened:

I’m not gonna lie, when I first started at Trinity, I had my eyes open for a man. Seminary= 9:1 ratio… sa-weet! However, after the first few weeks, even such a fantastic ratio was proving useless. I came to a point where I didn’t even care anymore. I decided I didn’t even want to date, and that if anyone asked me on a date I would say no.

A group of guys I had been hanging out with asked if I wanted to go to a new church plant with them. Never having been to a church plant, and not wanting to go to church alone, I consented to tag along and check it out. I loved it. That first week I met a lot of new people, including James. It was a brief encounter, but the following week a lot of people from the church started following me on facebook and twitter. James was one of them. I remember looking at his profile and thinking we had similar music and movie taste, but I ignored the spark of interest.

The next week at church, we all went out to lunch after, and James sat himself down right across from me. I might have even thought something like “cool! a cute guy sat by me” but with all my grace and tact one of the first things I blurted out was “I’m not interested in dating anyone, so how do I just ‘hang out’ with guys?” I think I baffled the poor guy, but almost without missing a beat he asked if I wanted to “hang out” sometime. And I took the bait.

“Sometime” turned out to be two days later. We went out and I’m not really sure what I expected, but what I didn’t expect was to find myself having the most amazing conversation with a seemingly incredible guy who I barely knew, but felt ridiculously comfortable with. We talked for three hours and closed down the joint. I remember wishing we could have stayed longer…

In the days that followed, I saw James everywhere. I had never noticed him on campus before, and I just happened to run into him at chapel or after class.We traded movies and music, texted non-stop and let me just tell you– I was quite giddy. Like a school girl.

A few days later James asked if I wanted to go to dinner at PF Changs. My reaction was that it was a bit expensive for “friends”, but he never couched it as a “date”. And you know what, that’s probably a good thing since I had so adamantly resolved NOT to date. [oops.]

The day before we went out, I tweeted before my 8am class that I had been up late, awake early, and was drinking bad coffee. As I was sitting in class waiting for it to start– to my shock and amazement– James walked into my classroom and handed me a cup of coffee. He said “You can’t start your Monday morning with bad coffee”. Then he walked out, leaving me stunned and smiling like an idiot. UM… so James woke up, read my tweet, got out of bed, made coffee, drove to campus, found my classroom and delivered me coffee in a to-go cup… THEREBY SEALING THE DEAL. Ladies, forget the shining armor or valiant steed, sometimes your knight will come bearing coffee. And that’s way cooler.

So when we went out to dinner, I was quite excited and also quite nervous. I was experiencing feelings unlike anything I ever had before. Then James told me he wanted to date me, and that he didn’t want it to be casual but rather intentional and committed. I knew this was “it”. I was done dating “just to see if it worked”, and James was not only in agreement with this philosophy, but he was so perfectly matched for me, and I felt so emotionally and physically drawn to him, I knew that we’d be in this for the long haul.

I have never once doubted James’s commitment to me, or his complete adoration of me. He serves me is so many ways, and I am constantly seeing new ways in which we are perfect for each other.

God has perfect timing and orchestration, and while I was bitter and didn’t believe that this could ever happen to me, I see now how God was working all along. I wasn’t ready for James before September 2009, we were brought together at the perfect time and just the way we needed to be.

And I could not be more thankful to God for the gift of James, and I could not be more thankful to all who have prayed that this day would come.

As we look ahead to our future, we are excited beyond words, and June 5th feels like it can’t come soon enough!

James meets me

On September 9, 2009 (09/09/09), I saw Sarah for the first time; exactly four months to the day later I asked her to be my wife…She said “yes.” So this is my story with Sarah. It is so simple, but like a fine work of art our relationship has so many intricate details and beautiful contours that to state it so coarsely seems to violate its very nature. So here I try in few words to do our wonderful, love-filled story justice—and in so doing I feel like an artist attempting to capture the brilliance of a sunset with an etch-a-sketch.

The first time I saw Sarah was at a theology conference at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Being a seminary, women are few and far between—let alone women as beautiful as Sarah. So, when I saw a gorgeous woman who loved theology, I thought to myself (as I told my friend), “I need to meet that girl.”

And meet her I did. In God’s providential guidance the beautiful blonde from the theology conference arrived at my church later that week. Being on the hospitality team, I took upon myself the burden to seek out and meet this stunning woman. I only said a few words to Sarah at lunch after church where I first spoke to her, and I had no idea how madly in love I would fall with this charming woman so quickly. I was in contact with Sarah a few times the following week, but made sure to pursue her the following week at church. When Sarah sat across from me at lunch that day, I remember feeling a sense of peace and comfort as we began to get to know each other. I began to find out about this woman: that she didn’t want to date anyone and that she was sick of hanging out with “younger,” 22-year old guys (I had just turned 23). I’m not sure if I took Sarah’s words as a joke or a challenge, but I knew I wanted to pursue her—and God made it oh-so-possible. I casually asked Sarah to hang out with me, and, by God’s grace, she agreed. Granted, I think she thought it was something much different than I hoped for, but she agreed nonetheless.

The next week I saw Sarah 3 or 4 times on Trinity’s campus—the same campus where I had only seen her once the previous month. We seemed to run into each other in the most appropriate places, and we began sharing words, films, and music; we began to share life.

That same week I met with my pastor on Tuesday morning, as I routinely do. He had just come from a meeting with Sarah across the parking lot, and his first words upon seeing me were, “Dude, I just met your future wife.” He was kidding, but I took him seriously.

Sarah and I went out for the first time the following Tuesday after riding home from church together on Sunday and a brief encounter on Monday. We had to be kicked out of the restaurant at 11:30 after talking non-stop for over three hours. I’ve never had such a wonderful conversation. The mannerisms and words of a soft, sensitive, and surprisingly honest woman were such a delight.

We communicated much that week, and I’m not sure I slept, ate, or did anything productive for the entire week. My stomach was in knots; I was falling in love.

I asked Sarah out to dinner the following Tuesday, September 29, and I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt. To my greatest pleasure, she felt the same way. I told her what I wanted in a woman, in a relationship, and in life with a wife. Sarah wanted, by God’s grace, the exact same things. I was floating on cloud nine, but at the same time I felt a sweet sigh of relief and relaxation.

As we continued to get to know each other, we found that it just worked. I saw Sarah almost every day—and multiple times each day—as we made the library our favored location for study dates, began a tradition of Tuesday “date nights,” and shared wonderful conversations in which we discovered just how similar we really are.

Then came the first kiss. If the film Hitch is right that “the first kiss will tell a woman everything she needs to know about the relationship,” then I should have known right there and then that I would marry Sarah and that our lives together would be a wonderful one. It was amazing…I’ll leave it at that, but let’s just say the second, third, and fourth ones didn’t lose any of their passion—nor have they to this day.

The next months were spent building and cultivating our flourishing relationship. Because of how open Sarah and I were with each other, and because of how committed we were, things got very serious very quickly. I’m not entirely certain of the exact moment when I knew I would marry Sarah, but I can say that it was very early on. I think we both knew it.

On January 9, 2009, I asked Sarah to marry me in downtown Chicago—she said “yes.”

So there you have it—etch-a-sketch-like though it may be. What I hope you will see from this brief recounting of my romance with Sarah is two things: first, we love each other deeply. But it’s not just a puppy-love or an infatuation. It is a rooted, self-giving, love that will last a lifetime. We know this because we are committed to each other through the hard times as well as the good times. Granted, the puppy-love is there—and my heart pounds hard each time I see Sarah’s lovely face. But our love is deep; it is special. The reason for this is the second thing that I want you to see: Jesus. Sarah and I share a deep love for God and praise him daily for bringing us together in his perfect plan. And even more than our commitment to each other, it is this commitment to Jesus that we believe will keep us loving one another each day for the rest of our lives. We look forward to celebrating with you on June 5, and we hope the day will be an encouragement for you in the hope of romantic love as well as the ultimate hope found in Jesus.

the engagement

On January 9, 2010, James planned to take Sarah out for dinner in downtown Chicago for her Christmas present. Sarah had suggested dressing up, since we were going to a really nice restaurant. Knowing that a proposal was due at some point, but seeing no evidence of a ring box and being convinced James wasn’t going to ‘pop the question’ just yet, Sarah had no clue what was really going to happen.

We took the train into the city and then, seeing as it was about 5º, we hopped in a cab. We were dropped off at some random street corner– well, Sarah thought it was random since the restaurant was nowhere in sight. Feigning error, James suggested walking across the river.  The city lights along the river were gorgeous, and as Sarah was chatting away about the view and the cold, James was trying to get his heart out of his throat. Once across the river, James stopped and said some really amazing things before dropping to one knee and, presenting a ring to Sarah, asked “will you marry me?” Sarah said yes! The moment was so surreal and wonderful.

We then were able to enjoy a romantic (and delicious) dinner at Ruth’s Chris, followed by dessert at the Signature room in the top of the Hancock. Normally, a table at that hour on a Saturday would be a 45 minute wait, but we got right in and announced to the host that we had just been engaged, and within moments we were seated at presumably the best table in the house with a clear, uninterrupted view of the city below.

It was a truly magical night, and we couldn’t be happier!